After 4 months of maternity leave and a baby, returning to work can be a daunting task. Separation anxiety, coping with work baby balance, guilt and more makes it stressful for mummy. However, all this stress can be reduce if you spend some time to prepare yourself and baby; yes baby, that you are heading back to work! So here are some tips which had helped me survived heading back to work; aka school, cause I am a teacher and I hope it will help you too!!
1) Establishing a routine / Sleep training your baby.
Babies are routine creatures, in fact, most children and students are routine creatures too, they work well with a good routine as it give them certainty and allows them to know what to expect. Sleep training and routine comes hand in hand, if you are able to establish a good routine, highly likely your baby will be sleep train. So I started sleep training baby S at 5 weeks old; many said I am cruel, but to me a good routine saves me through all her wonder weeks and teething. So who cares what people say, the idea is I survived and am even able to bring my girl overseas with me through all her wonder weeks!
At 5 weeks, I ensure that baby S wakes up daily by 8a.m. and her day will start there. Her day goes more or less as below:
7 to 8.30am - Rise & Shine + 1st feed (Usually, if she is not up by 8a.m. I will use a warm wet towel to wake her up.)
8.30am - Bath time
9 to 9.30am - 1st Nap + 2nd Feed
11 to 11.30am - 3rd feed, change of diaper, play time / story time
12.30pm - head out to buy lunch with baby OR if i am going out for the day this is about the time I would leave house.
The rest of the day is more or less free and easy, if we go out I would wear her and we would go out the entire day, else if we are home, we would play, read and all, in between all this activities I feed on demand and she would take at least one or two more nap ranging from 2 to 4 hours long in total.
8 to 8.30p.m. - Start of night routine. Wipe her down, massage her, change into PJ, Bedtime story, night feed. (at this time, light in the house is dim, we speak softly and gently to indicate that it is night time)
9 to 9.30p.m. - Sleep.
One would realise that it is kinda impossible to fix the routine for the entire day, so what is important is to have a fixed one in the morning and at night so that baby is able to tell between day and night. This helps to sleep train them and also make them aware that it is night and it is time to sleep.
It took us about 3 to 4 weeks to get baby into the routine and these allow her to sleep better at night; waking up lesser and sleeping longer stretch. In the morning after 3 to 4 weeks she automatically wakes up by 8a.m. latest, no longer need to wake her with a warm wet towel.
During wonder weeks and teething period, this will be your life savior! And when you head back to work, this routine ensure that your baby is sleeping well at night so that it gives you the rest you need for work too!
2) Childcare Arrangement.
I guess even before having the baby, you need to discuss this with your other half, it is really important! From knowing if you want to place your baby in infant care, to having a nanny or your parents or his to care for the child and what are the expectations, all these have to be mapped out!
If you are sending baby to infant care, you need to ensure that there is vacancy; can register once you have an estimated date of delivery (edd). If you are looking for a nanny, you need to find one early too! Even with parents, you need to have expectation mapped out early so that there is no conflict!
More importantly, give your baby and yourself time to be familiar with the arrangement! This means 2 to 3 weeks before you head back to work, you can make the arrangement for the child to be place under alternative care; start with short hours and slowly increase it!
I am very lucky to have my mum care for my baby when I head back to work, so a month before heading back, I will head out to my mum house daily from home, and there i make my expectation clear. 2 weeks before heading back to work, I slowly shift the caring to my mum and slowly increase the time she had alone with her; my mum. And gosh I am glad I did that, cause the initial crying was out of control and scary!
3) Mummy routine is important too!!
You may have been working in that very same environment for years, but returning as a new mum and as a first time working mum especially is gonna make old environment new again. So it is IMPORTANT, for mummy to get familiar with the work space and time too!
Start by heading back before the end of your maternity leave to say hi to old friends at work, use that opportunity to build a network of trusted friends and mummy (if possible) who will be your support network at work!
It is also important get familiar with work environment especially if you are a breastfeeding mummy! Know where to pump, wash, sterilize and even store your pump parts and breast milk. Check if there is a fridge and if it is clean. Check if there is a microwave and if it is clean. Check is there is a nursing room. If you are lucky enough to have all this 3 then good for you! But for many mummy this is only a dream. Many work place may not have all that you need as a nursing mummy so alternative arrangement needs to be made!
Example for me in school I dont have any of the 3 above, so this make it very challenging. I need to pump at my table, so having a nursing cover is a must. The staff room fridge is also not clean enough for me to store my breast milk and neither is the microwave to sterilize my pump parts. So I survived with the following!
- Nursing Cover (I use the wear over kind, as it cover all around; 360 degree)
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| The blue and white stripe thingy is my nursing cover! |
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| The darker blue is the nursing cover! |
- A good breast pump, I use a Medela Freestyle. It is pricey ($511+ at Lazada) but it is really good!
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| That's almost how my pump bag looks like when i go to school! |
- Nursing Bra and Nursing wear. I swear by JumpEatCry Nursing wear as they look nice and they do make pumping in the office really easily, especially when I am pumping @ my table!
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| Classic Nursing Wrap Dress |
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| Duo Tone Nursing Wrap Dress |
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| Side Seams Access Nursing Dress |
Once you have all that you need, the next is to set a routine to pump, know your work schedule and start pumping at the various timing! If you need to pump 2 to 3 hourly, then set time to do it before heading back to work.
4) Be a TEAM!
Get your husband and family member on your side and help you ease back to work! Especially your husband!! Share the house work, share your worries, share everything! It takes a team to run a family and a team is what you need!
Stanley and I have a routine whereby he will help me with housework on Monday; his off day (since he work Tuesday to Saturday), and he will also help with washing the bottles and pump parts, washing and hanging baby S clothes and getting things ready for baby S to sleep at night. He does a lot and I am really thankful for him! He continues to cook on Monday to ensure that I have a good meal! Whereas I would deal with the baby, pack her bag; clothes, diaper, milk and more, pack my pump bag, settle the milk to freeze and make breakfast every morning!
Be a TEAM! It really does help!
5) Know that your baby will miss you and you will miss your baby too, but it is all OK!!
Yes, you will have separation anxiety and so will your baby, there will even be a little crying or maybe a lot! But have faith in your little one and yourself that it is all gonna be ok! Once you finish work and you return home, your baby will love you just the same!!
Have photos of your little one at your table it does help a bit!
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| Know that after work you will be home to your little baby! |
It is never easy to balance work and baby, it is tough being a mummy, but always remember and know that you are tougher that all that you experience!
To all mummies, FIGHTING!! and to all daddies, support your mummies!!
