Our Rainbow Baby; Baby S

Stanley and I found out that we are pregnant on the 24 May 2016.

This news to us was received with mixed emotions. We felt fear, excitement, joy but of course hope, grace, faith and mainly happiness and bliss as I do know how much Stanley love children and how much ever child is a gift to their parents.

However, having been through one molar pregnancy, it was not easy for us to face the next without having the fear that something will too go wrong.

Not known to anyone around us; our parents, friends or relatives, Stanley and I was also pregnant last year; 2015. However, it was a molar pregnancy which ended in a miscarriage at week 10. Having a molar pregnancy not only means we loss the baby, it also put my life in danger of having a tumor which needs to be treated by chemotherapy. It was scary, depressing and saddening. Teachers' Day 2015 will always be remembered as the day I lost my first pregnancy. I was very upset, but deep down in me, I kinda of fully understood why it happened. Believing that everything happened for a reason and having faith that good and something better will come out of all this learning.

I have been a very self-centered person for a very long time, but through the years of being in a relationship with Stanley and finally marrying him, I been learning on the things it takes to make a relationship works. It is not me but we and not I but us. The old me would never wanted children, but seeing how good Stanley is with kids and how much he loves them, the us now would love to have kids of our own cause I know he will be a great dad. However embarking on the journey to parenthood was not something I am totally convinced I could do, I was unsure if I am able to love my child the same way I love myself but somehow I believe the miscarriage taught me that I could! Cause from it I felt sadness like i never felt before, I was in pain emotionally and crying and I know from that that I am able to love my children unconditionally and am willing to go through it all; all the pregnancy things and changes just to bring a little one to the world.

So after 6 months of monitoring and checks after the molar pregnancy; many many blood test to make sure that the HCG level drops back to 0. we embark on our journey again of trying to conceive. And it was not long after that we were blessed with a little peanut.

24 May 2016, the day I found out about my pregnancy with Our Rainbow Baby. It was joy, fear, excitement and anxiousness. But we try to contain it all and just journey on with faith.

30 May 2016, as I had a previous miscarriage, my gyn; Dr Claudine Tan, asked me to check in earlier for a check to make sure all is going well. So had my first check then at just week 5, Dr Tan was very assuring and deep down I was actually very hopeful too, somehow this pregnancy just feels different but it was still with caution that we head on. So everything was still kept within the two of us; Stanley and me.

21 June 2016, our second check, at that point we are able to hear the heartbeat and it kinda assure us that things are good. However, we wanted to be sure and thus did not want to share the news with anyone till the OSCAR test results are out. Scan looks like a little dolphin, which I like as it is an animal which symbolizes "HOPE" for me and my mum!

18 July 2016, had our OSCAR test and for the first time, we get to see quite a define little being! Too cute and filled with so much hope!

25 July 2016, Got our OSCAR test results, all is good! Thankful for the blessing, thankful for Stanley's unconditional love and support! Honestly just feel very blessed and grateful for it all!

OSCAR Test Results

Week 13 and finally we are ready to tell our parents! All is well and we look forward to the rest of the journey together filled excitement, love and lots of joy. 

To couples who have love and lost a baby or a pregnancy, never loss hope, your time will come and when it does it is all worth it. Promise.